Wellness Conference • Sept. 17, 2016 • Learn more →

Pre-Habilitate Your Family

Family

Pre-habilitation is a form of strength training designed to prevent injuries BEFORE they occur. However, this term can be effectively used in your personal life, family, business, employment, and church.  As it relates to this topic, pre-habilitation is the management style of incorporating proactive and preventative measures or actions designed to prevent mistakes, delays, deficiencies, and the development of unwanted business culture BEFORE they occur.

Let’s begin by asking a few questions:

  1. If you could prevent having the horrible disappointment of communication problems with your spouse or significant other that resulted in over-the-top misunderstanding, would that appeal to you?
  2. If you could avoid the pain of hearing shocking information about your child’s unexpectedly negligent or bad behavior, would you do it?
  3. If you could escape the trauma of experiencing divorce, would that interest you?

Hopefully, the answer to each of these questions is a resounding YES!

The solution, to preventing, avoiding, and escaping the aforementioned conditions, lies foundationally in the concept of pre-habilitation. Now is the time to pre-habilitate our families! We may not be able to avoid the ‘current’, but we can pre-habilitate our future to a great extent.

Let’s ‘pre-habilitate’ questions 1-3 in order:

  1. Pre-habilitation of communication problems begins with setting aside a time to simply ‘talk and listen.’ Schedule a mutually convenient time with your spouse or significant other to discuss the day. This can be done in the evening before bed. I recommend allotting 10 minutes each to talk. During the 10 minutes, the other person is only to listen. This can be a time to discuss highlights, issues, needs for clarification, or expressions of gratitude. Make the ground rules clear, and make sure each person understands those rules. This is a time that must be carefully guarded. It is an appointment that must not be canceled absent exigent circumstances.
  2. Pre-habilitation of being surprised about disparaging information about your child in similar to how you would handle communication with your spouse. This however, is a totally different level.  I recommend scheduling a daily family dinner time. This is a time in which the TV is off, dinner is on the table, and the family is enjoying a meal together. Each child is given the opportunity to share the events of their day – highlights, problems, struggles as well as issues with friends, teachers, and yes – parents. There should be no interruptions when the child speaks. However, a clear time limit must be held as other children need time as well. The parents can manage this effectively. If there are serious issues that need to be discussed in private, make time and opportunity for that to occur at the first available moment.
  3. Pre-habilitation against divorce occurs at the outset of any pre-marriage relationship. Marriage is not like testing a car. It is serious business with amazing results from success and disastrous heartaches from failure. I recommend dating someone for at least 2 years. This may seem strange, but time will prevail in uncovering weaknesses and vulnerabilities. In accepting and loving these weaknesses and vulnerabilities, a deep love relationship can be forged. There should be common interests and parallel beliefs regarding faith. Having opposing faiths can drive a nearly insurmountable wedge. I also recommend a stringent counseling process, especially if this is the first marriage.

There you have it. We have utilized pre-habilitation as a management style in our family to prevent some of the most dreaded consequences.

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